WORK IN PROGRESS:
MY PLAN FOR BECOMING SUPER ROG
1. A CRISIS ARISES
We were all losers
2. MY SHITTY LIFE
Trapped on a Vermont dairy farm with my so-called family, AKA “the usual suspects,” Super Rog endures the many horrors of farm living. When he learns of a way out, it becomes “The Way Not Taken,” destroying his hopes and plunging him into depression until his mother assures him he can become “anything.” He decides to become Superman.
3. THE SUPERMAN CONNECTION
From TV’s The Adventures of Superman, Super Rog discovers he has much in common with Superman, except for a single detail casually mentioned by his maternal “Gramma Petty.”
4. AWAKEN A SLEEPING NERD
Comic books instruct him on non-alien-born superhero options; he considers becoming Batman. Shirking hard work, lacking athletic aptitude, and being risk averse, Super Rog decides to let his true powers real themselves.
5. POWERS ARISE – Super Rog realizes many powers
1) CONVICTION COURAGE (interrupting Sunday School film strip of “The Worstest Story Ever Told” – the Easter Story)
2) EMBARRASSMENT IMMUNITY (throwing up on first-grade teacher – she deserved it),
3) NAME-CALLING INDIFFERENCE (accepts all names he is called – IF they fit).
4) BELIEF REJECTION (Indigenous Peoples as “bad guys”).
5) REFRAMING (to change his life he must change himself / actions).
6. NEW SCHOOL NEW LIFE
Super Rog dates. Privately asks girl out by driving to public phone booth. Truth exposed when sister asks for a ride to dance. Gets lost picking up date, gets lost going home.
7. THE NERDIFICATION OF DANCING
Super Rog draws on Nerd Powers to inspire dancing – rather than standing around – AT school dances.
8. THE NERDIFICATION OF BASKETBALL
Super Rog learns the purpose of all competition is to produce losers.
9. LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT’S SUPER ROG!
Super Rog draws on Nerd Powers to inspire the joy of losing.
10. RESULTS VARY
Reactions from cheerleaders, students, players.
11. FAME & GLORY
Newspaper editorial proclaims Super Rog embodies definition of school spirit. Cheerleaders invite Super Rog to join them, provide him with a bass drum, escort him to the middle of the gym, and sing a song praising his efforts. Yearbook publishes photos of Super Rog and “Super Rog Is Our Hero” banners.
12. SUCCESS THROUGH LOSING
Despite continued losses, fans flock to games, buses to transport to away games are scheduled, school spirit thrives.
13. SIDE EFFECTS VARY
Chosen as first foreign exchange student, president of every club, student council president, standing ovation walking onto stage as MC of variety show.
14. TRUTH & CONSEQUENCES
School spirit thrives while Super Rog considers “competition repercussions.” People assume Super Rog’s life is “perfect.”
15. A SINGLE VICTORY!
Mt. Abe’s Eagles win one game played against another school in the same situation: a newly formed “Union” school uniting multiple smaller schools.
16. SUPER ROG RETIRES
Super Rog no longer joins the cheerleaders at games. He continues to attend and cheer, but when asked, explains he is no longer needed – the team is winning. He has retired, UNTIL …
17. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Winter Carnival; Super Rog’s reckoning & challenge: Become Super YOU!